#16: Reconnecting with an old friend

As one of my 30 Before 30 things, I put down reconnecting with an old friend. It’s hard to make friends. Especially when everyone has their own life going on. Yet once you’ve made them it’s even harder maintaining that friendship. It was easier in high school because there was always one place to meet. Now, everyone has different schedules, there are different experiences, and there are different personalities. No one is who they were in high school. I am lucky to have maintained my friendship circle from high school. However, we are all just words in a chat group. Very rarely do we see each other. Even rarer is when we see each other all at once. So, to fill the gap I’ve made a few new friends. There have been three that I’ve lost touch with that were so important to my life that I decided to reach out.

  • Wifey

Those at my workplace know who my Wifey is. I spoke about her quite often. She’s a very strong-willed woman. She’s short and sexy and scary. She has a unique way of dealing with pain, where she doesn’t. She’d rather let someone go than give them the opportunity to hurt her again. That’s what happened to us. It was her birthday and I chose to hang out with Kneecaps instead. I tried lying about it but of course, my Wifey knows me better than that.

She unfriended me on Facebook, SnapChat, and I suppose blocked my number. I don’t remember. I emailed her and sent her a message on Instagram. I said that I was sorry and would like the opportunity to make amends. I offered food, weed, and tequila. She declined in her way. I no longer exist in her world. It sucks but it is what it is.

  • Work Wife

My Work Wife is an amazing person! After I got my job when I moved back from Colorado, we went out for office drinks. In her drunken stupor, she said she loved me and we laughed. We became inseparable ever since then. She is one of those rare people that I connected with instantly. Our friendship came so naturally. She’d say a joke and I’d finish the punchline. I love her. My Wifey represented who I used to be and my Work Wife represented who I was. She was my person. I disappointed her.

I had made plans to see her and canceled the same day. Then I forgot her birthday. It may not seem much to you, but I understand friendship is hard work. It requires both people to keep in touch. I can’t expect something of her that I do not do myself. I also, reached out to her and I let her know I was sorry. I wanted to make amends. She didn’t reply. She had said what she needed to say, I suppose, when she let me know what I had done wrong. I don’t like that she kept her anger and pain hidden from me for so long. But I guess I’m not the easiest to approach at times. I’ll wait for her to text or call. She’s a good person. She calls me out on my shit.

  • G

G is that one friend that I’ve been with since the 4th grade. We have inside jokes inside of inside jokes. She made my childhood bearable. It was actually thanks to her that I have my group of friends now. We had a plan when we were younger. We were going to move to England or London, get married, then accidentally but purposefully fall in love with each other’s husbands. Obviously, that didn’t happen. We ended up going our separate ways after I was pregnant with Yoshi. Every now and again I’d pop up randomly at her place. That’s how close we were.

She’s harder to keep in touch with since she doesn’t live on social media. If I didn’t have her number I don’t think I’d ever get ahold of her. We didn’t have a fallout. We just stopped talking. I texted her. She’s going to college right now. She’s finally finishing what she’s started. I’m hoping to go visit her in Boston.

One out of three is better than none, I suppose. Friendships are precious and if you’re holding back because of something trivial, I’d recommend taking a chance. Life is hard and will be terribly lonely if you don’t have the right people supporting you. Don’t be afraid of rejection. Take the time to reach out to that high school friend or that one person that got your jokes. I’d rather try than live my life wondering what if. Making new friends doesn’t necessarily mean you throw away the old ones. As a single mom, I have mom friends and I have regular friends. I have married friends and single friends. Each group serves their own purpose for me. They don’t have to like each other, just as long as they stay friends with me.

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