Sex-ed at Home

When I was a kid the only sex education I received was: ‘Don’t get pregnant!’ Thanks, mom, we all know how that turned out. As a child, I don’t remember learning much from my parents. Anything I learned was from personal experience or from friends. I witness some horrible things and I went through some tough times. I wouldn’t want that for my boys. I don’t want my boys to be the type of guys I ran into. So, I wanted to share my thoughts on sex-ed at home.

First, when they’re young, maybe age 4-6, you can teach kids about no-no parts and no-no touch. I explained to Yoshi at a young age that things like breasts, penis, butts, and vaginas were no-no parts. No one was allowed to touch those parts except me or a doctor. I explained no-no touch meant somebody else touched his no-no parts without my permission. He’s a kid! He can’t give consent. Plus, that gave the understanding that he needed to tell me if anyone tried to touch him. It hasn’t happened as of yet. As a big brother, he later explained the same thing to his little brother.

Then, you can explain self-exploration. I’m a very matter-of-fact person with my kids. I want them to be able to speak freely. If I’m uncomfortable or angry, they pick up on it and tend to reflect that back to me. I don’t want that to be the case with anything having to do with sex. I want them to treat it as a fact not an emotion. I let them know they couldn’t just wave their tiny dicks around whenever they felt like it. If they were curious about themselves they could explore their bodies behind closed doors. If they had questions that they didn’t want to ask me about they had Shadow and my brothers to ask. This introduces them to the acceptance of their curiosity. It also lets them know who they can talk to, but be sure you can trust the guidance of those you mention to your children.

Finally comes sex. The actual conversation of intercourse shouldn’t be awkward or hard for you to discuss. Yoshi is in fourth grade. You may think this is too young but it isn’t. If you don’t get to them first, someone else will. With the way technology has evolved, information about certain things is hard to hide. I caught my youngest son, Maki, watching Sims characters having sex on YouTube. So, I sat them both down and explained the facts. Yoshi was visibly uncomfortable. Maki kind of stared at me; embarrassed and worried he might be in trouble. I advised them of two things: sex was completely normal, and sexual curiosity was normal too.

I made sure to inform them that if they didn’t feel comfortable discussing it with me they had Shadow or my brothers to talk to. I don’t want them to grow up thinking that you have to be in love to have sex. I won’t lie to them, not about this.

If you think it’s too much, I’ll leave you with this. Maki had an incident at his previous school. A boy his age took him to the closet and tried to get him to take off his underwear. He’s in first grade now. That was when he was in Kindergarten. When I asked him about it he replied, “I didn’t want you to get mad.” I let him know I would never get mad at him for someone touching him. It was never his fault. He could always tell me, no matter who it was. These things find your kids whether you want it to or not. My advice is to educate them at home. Arm them with knowledge and trust. It’s better you tell them now than a harsh experience explaining to them later.


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