The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

During my recent absence, I’ve had a chance of making some new friends and lasting memories. Some have inquired as to where I was and what had happened. So, as the gossip queen that I am, I’ll tell you. If you haven’t already read my last post regarding #3 on my list of 30 before 30, spoiler alert, I’m not moving. Although at the time that didn’t stop me from truly believing it. I decided to reach out to a couple of boo thangs from Colorado and a couple of them reached out to me- coincidentally. My old sex guy for example sent me some kind words and a couple of hot pics. No it wasn’t Tequila. I also had a minor setback with Kneecaps and an offer arise from Instagram. But let’s start at the beginning with the Good Guy- Domo.

Domo had been a Tinder date. Not actually him but his friend and I had matched. On our first meeting Domo and I hit it off. His friend? Meh. I’d like to say we dated or had some hot nights of wonderful sex. Unfortunately, nothing really transpired between us. I was still dealing with Shadow at the time. Thus, our relationship never really flourished. I still had his number, we were FB friends, and we are Snapchat friends. He messaged me and in an act of pure excitement I told him the good news. We remained in contact. He was as anxious to take me out on our first date as I was. When I got the offer for a promotion he bowed out. He didn’t want to be part of the deciding factor of whether I left or stayed. I respect that. We are just friends again.

There was a guy, however, who didn’t want to exit the situation so politely. This, this is the bad. Instagram does follow my blog. I’m sure I’ll hear about this post but it isn’t going to stop me from writing it. I had been flirting slightly with Instagram. He had read my ‘Life as a Professional SideChick’ post and seemed to understand what I wanted from a man. Like any man, he offered his dick should I ever need it. Our relationship was just a bunch of sexual build up with out any actual release. Well, not together anyways. I think I may have broken him. In an act of sexual hunger he offered me sex again. This time with a prize. Should the sex be fulfilling to him, he’d leave his current girlfriend and date me instead. Sex is very important to him, so he’d need to see if we were sexually compatible first. I know, the nerve of the guy! Well, I was on my period when he said this to me and on an emotional rollercoaster. So, I did the only thing I could do. I blocked him. *shrug*

Now, I wish I could say my emotional rollercoaster was due only to my period. This is where Kneecaps comes in: the ugly. Well, ladies and gents after swearing off his dick and attitude I relapsed. It happens. There’s actually a funny story to this. I was at a festival where I drank a lot. I was with my crush and I started to have a panic attack in the huge crowd. The panic attack was caused because of Colorado situation. My crush-who has a girlfriend-was confused and didn’t know what to do with me. I ended up running away from him. Crying. In some strange area that I was too drunk to decypher. My drunk ass called Kneecaps and told him to come get me. I then ordered a Lyft to his place, opened another bottle of champagne, ordered him to fuck me, and passed out. Yeah.

After our grand reunion, we were back to our old routine. Until he started talking about us as if we were in a relationship. I asked if he was willing to be in the lives of my kids. He declined saying he didn’t want kids. To which I again explained that we were not in a relationship. It turned heated. Really, I was doing all the text yelling. He apologized and said he’d leave me alone to search for a boyfriend who could give me what I wanted. “If it’s what you really need?” He asked. I don’t need a man but how the fuck do I get it through his head that I want a man? I told him not to contact me until I contacted him. He said he’d delete my number. I deleted his. Before I blocked him I asked if he’d be willing to date me. His reply was not in my current situation. Maybe in another life. I told him to fuck off and blocked him. The end.

That is my love life for you. Not really as dramatic as my teen years. I suppose there’s a lesson in here somewhere. For those of you dealing with your own complicated relationships, all I can say is stay focused and stay true to what you want. You definitely shouldn’t compromise when it comes to finding someone that will make you happy. Also, remember you have to be happy with yourself first before you can be happy with someone else. Another man will not make you love yourself more and won’t love you enough for both of you.


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